TAS: Season One, Episode Four

Star Trek

The Animated Series
Season One, Episode Four
The Lorelei Signal
[original airdate: 09|29|1973]
[spoilers ahoy!]

So we're starting with just the Enterprise all by her lonesome with no planets or anything around her, and she's mid-travel and not in orbit. Wow!

So you're heading for a location, in the middle of an unknown sector, where starships have been disappearing for the last 150 years…

WHAT IS THIS THE SPACE BERMUDA TRIANGLE?

One ship every 27.346 star years…

so 5.48 ships. Uhhhhh so how did we lose less than half a ship? Were there survivors but no ship? That would work, if true.

Twenty seconds to what-- I agree Kirk. [Thirty Seconds to Mars, Twenty Seconds to What. That's what happened after Jared Leto started a cult right?]

ANYway. The second we hit the silent "one" count, Uhura gets a subspace signal. Captainface says "put it on speaker".

 ["Put it on speaker, Lt."]

Thanks Uhura, because I was gonna say that sounds a lot more like some SWEET riffs on an alien guitar than the usual subspace communications. They must have stumbled across some aliens playing Guitar Hero.

Ah, long-distance space call. Is it collect? Don't accept the charges, Captain, the price might be..... astronomical.

Uh oh. The men say it sounds like a summons, and Uhura's like "EXCUSE ME NO". That already sounds like a siren song. And well, a "lorelei' is a type of siren.

Uhura is side-eyeing him so hard in this scene, it's hilarious.

 [I am already done with your shit, sir]

(Also going to laugh here at Spock suddenly sprouting the most amazing double-eyebrow. I mean that's right up there with animated!Sarek's brows. I mean that's a pretty big animation error. Oopsie!)

I am suspicious of this whole thing where he's like "why yes this strange thing sounds like a Vulcan marriage drum"

Audio-visual suggestion? Spock, that's called HALLUCINATION.

Seriously though, why are they all blond haired blue-eyed aryan women? Geez. Is that all we find attractive here? smh

THAT HAND. Jfc Kirk's hand looks like it's someone else's hand in front of his face. (I mean, I'm assuming it's his…)

Well, at least they're being smart and calling the doctor when our two resident ladies don't see anything. Even if Dr McCoy seems like he might be affected as well, judging by Uhura calling him twice with no answer.

Get your ass up here, Bones.

I do find it funny that they show Bones being affected, but unlike Kirk and Spock, there's no visual. He just says "magnolias in blossom, beautiful" ARE THEY LURING YOU WITH FLOWERS BONES?

ffs

To be fair, magnolias in blossom ARE beautiful

 [Where I live there are tons of these.]

Yes, you FINALLY notice, after you check the readings and they're still inconclusive, that it's weird the guys are the only ones affected. GEEZ.

Ah, the typical red planet. (I swear to god, could they not afford to paint a fricken different color? Is blue really that much more than red? Or green? But seriously, I get that they didn't have a high budget, but this is the third red planet in four episode)

Damn, even Spock is smiling rn. (That makes this even more concerning, of course.)

Okay, it's kind of yellow in this next shot. I GUESS that's okay. (Also jfc that sound is irritating AF. If you watch with headphones, it seems to come out of the right earphone) And then, of course, it's red again when they're over it. SIGH.

Is it me, or is it a little weird that Scotty is the one doing the log? Okay, why the hell is he in charge ?(also why are you so mean Kirk? Take your entire senior staff with you.)Leave it in Uhura's hands, she's CERTAINLY more capable than Mr Scott probably is.

Beautiful architecture indeed, Captain.

But just because your white ass can't conceive of it being built by anyone but an incredibly advanced race doesn't mean dick.

If you're not going to take Ensign Redshirt's readings, "never mind Spock will do it" WHY BRING HIM ALONG? Oh wait to die for you so you know you're in danger, right? >_>

SPOCK. Spock Spock Spock... I don't think your compulsion is visual. Yet. I think you've already forgotten it's auditory, but at least you're telling them to be careful. smh

Kirk you piece of shit. "There's no apparent danger" yeah ok. Just because you can't see it.... you know, this is how you know he's being siren-songed tho- this isn't how he normally behaves. So good on that, at least.

Looks like there's snow in this building? Or is it just a really epic shag rug?

A really advanced race that has white wall-to-wall carpeting. I don't see that being a problem.

JFC I wasn't kidding. They showed two women, and they were both white blonde and one had blue eyes. GUESS WHAT. They're all the same. Every last one. When you have to wear certain hairstyles or hats or whatever for me to tell you apart... This is going to give my face-blind wife a complex.

OKAY SO THE REAL ANSWER IS THAT YOU'RE STALKERS. OK. (headphone wearers, beware the high-pitched hum)

Although with some chairs and popcorn that would be an amazing cinema screen.

Like idk, I don't feel like tonal control is that interesting or futuristic? I mean, I feel like that would be the first place any society would go... maybe that's just me.

Pretty sure there is no food in the galaxy that would make this scene comfortable.

 [pretty sure this is what happened after the cut]

"It's the answer to all a man's dreams" OKAY It's a heckin planet James T Kirk. "These are the most beautiful women in the galaxy!" jfc Bones, you have MET more beautiful women. "The men are in another compound" "That makes sense."

WHAT THE HELL. She threw something at Spock, he MISSED and then he passed out? Geez Spock it wasn't that embarrassing that you missed.

OKay hold up a second. She's crying? WHY. Oh dear god they're all old. NO WONDER. Wow this is insane. I mean, I get it I read the plotline under the episode title but damn this shit works fast.

[I mean damn. Also never let someone you don't know give you a crown.]

Usually this kind of thing takes a while. Also I'm intrigued that the computer has Nichelle Nichols' voice, probably because they decided against having Majel Barrett talk to herself (again).

Look at Uhura taking charge! Yass queen. Don't you let the Enterprise (or the rest of the male crew) get ruined.

DON'T YOU BE SUSPICIOUS NURSE CHAPEL. What do you mean what are you doing. What do you think.

[Uhura is the Take-Charge Queen]

  Oh no gurl you are not taking all of Kirk's men with your glowy crowns. Okay not only are you yanking them around you're throwing them? I was going to have sympathy for you and your creepy eyes but NOPE. They're old men now! They can barely think! And you're just being cruel.

omg I hope this beautiful singing is James Doohan. It's implied and I hope! Also hdkaSJD. gET OUT OF THE CHAIR SCOTTY.

"very thoughtful of you love."

SPock's fricken eye just. In the camera and moving around. Y'all. Well, it didn't de-age them at all but maybe they'll be able to function. Poor guys.

Nice contrast of the men's silhouettes running more slowly than the women's. Even with that stimulant they must be much slower than normal for them. }}}:C

Yes yes hide in a random plant/vase/thing. And somehow, despite them being RIGHT THERE. They miss them.

Took y'all fricken long enough to figure that out. Geez! Dead in four days. That's not cool. @_@ Ugh I feel so bad for them. And you know, it's not their fault.

HAHA OMG Spock just reproducing the hum. (Okay not really I know but) That is amazing.

This is the most relatable thing in the entire freaking episode:

 [Me after any staircase]

And then Spock passes out because they're back. UGH. But seriously I just wanna know why every woman on that rescue team has their head tilted to the right.

Man, and to think that the Enterprise has a more diverse group of ladies. Also Theela you sound... creepy. "Head female." Bleagh.

OH YES. Uhura is not having your crap. Stun them girls! With your phasers, of course. Damn this is so good.

Wait. Ms Chapel? Spock is calling for her??? WHAT ARE YOU IMPLYING??? Ooooh wait! I remember! The one with those glowing orbs, and that dude Sargon, and so Spock didn't end up dead, she took his consciousness into herself. That's why!

Aaaah, he called her Christine!

Oh man poor Christine, seeing Spock like that. And ugh how are the others doing if he's that bad?!

Uhura is a hard woman. She could step on me and I'd say thank you. I mean that's really such a sad, sad story >_> but, you know. You MUST revitalize every 27 years. And what happens if you don't? Do you grow old and die like you say you can't? HMMM. (Also oh noes! You have have babies. The horror. Sorry lol)

Well thank GOD for Uhura's ability to tell that it looks like the thing from the garden because they are apparently three seconds from drowning if they don't watch out.

God imagine seeing your Captain, a person you really like, helpless and weak and old like that. Especially when it's not his fault, but some people who just have to make others suffer.

Ooooh clever! They occasionally remember that the transporter keeps patterns in the buffer, this is good. Yes yes.

Oh well THAT'S not upsetting at all. If it fails, they're not stuck old, they're scattered everywhere.

omg omg omg noooo--

IT WORKED.

"You're more handsome than ever." Appealing to his vanity, I hope.

Aww, well, at least they seem excited by the prospect of becoming normal, and aging normally, and so on. I disagree, immortality would be awesome. Not the best cost though. I'd prefer to snack on criminals. What?

Well. That was an interesting episode to say the least. Still pretty decent though, I'd give this a 8/10. There's not much that's super problematic or anything, the story's a bit tired even by Trek standards, since they'd caught rapid aging in the original show too. But you know, that doesn't mean it's not an interesting story.