Ten Things I Hate About Q

 

           

                So let's be real here: Q is annoying but he's entertaining. I'm entirely writing this post because I wanted to make a 10 Things I Hate About You joke. The Taming of the Q was another option, but since he's never been tamed, I'm not sure it works.

                I don't really hate Q. Some people do and I know that. I find him amusing, although sometimes he's annoying. I like the idea that he's attempting to court/seduce Picard, and Picard is Not Having It. However, there are some things he does that I really don't like.

 

                 1. He really doesn't take no for an answer. 

 

 

                 It's rare for Q to listen to anyone when they say no to him. Seriously, watch any episode that contains Q. His favorite thing is to ignore the word "no". This guy has no concept of  the term. He tries to lure a child into using Q powers. He succeeds, but only after essentially bullying her into it. She doesn't want to. He harrasses everyone, and it takes a lot to get him to stop. Riker turns him down repeatedly, and he actually makes a big deal out of it! And he's always pestering Picard, constantly, day or night.

                2. He has absolutely no concept of personal space or boundaries

                 While it's almost always with Picard most often, Q has literally no idea how to respect boundaries or personal space. He likes to get into your face and creep around you like some kind of weird predator. Some people like this. Some of those people might be my wife. (Do not actually try this, you will earn a thumping). None of those people reside on the Enterprise, or on Voyager.

 

                        3. He will never, ever leave you alone.

                     Unless, of course, you punch him.

 

                    This is literally my favorite scene with Q. Ever. Sorry Picard, but maybe if you'd punched Q, he'd have left you alone. This is why people think you two should get married and have Q babies. 

                    P.S. I'm actually shocked he didn't show up in Season 1 of Picard. Maybe they're saving him for season two. There was enough interesting shit going on in season one. (Dataaaaaaaa)

                4. He WILL involve you in his problems without asking first.

                 

                          [His eyes say "help me Katherine" his uniform says "I'm 

                         bringing a war you never asked for directly to your doorstep"]

                  

                He'll dump his war on your head and tell you that it's your job to help him with it. Everyone knows all about him and doesn't want to help. Does he listen? Of course not. (See #1) And if that's not all, he'll get depowered and come straight to you, and beg you to teach him to be just like you. Or maybe he'll have to deal with a suicidal Q, and make sure you also have to deal with him. Isn't that just like Q?

 

                       5. He'll steal your girl (and then regret it)

         This is the second best Q moment ever, because not only does it feature the story of Robin Hood, one of my favorite stories (which I seem to prefer parodied whenever possible (see Robin Hood Men in Tights), it gives us Worf and the rest of the bridge crew in tights, Geordi attempting the lute (and Worf smashing it), and this: Q seeming to win over Picard's "love" Vash... and then regretting it when she's a lot harder to handle than he realizes. And then she ends up with Quark. Or so it seems. Vash will probably never settle down, let's be honest.

 

                    6. He will demand you make his children, and leave out an important detail. 

 

        Janeway's face says it all. Q spends most of the episode trying to seduce her, or harangue her into bearing his child, claiming it'll stop the Q war in progress and bring the Q messiah or some nonsense, I'm usually cringeing up and down the living room during half this episode. It IS hilarious, but it's also kind of heinous. Q claims that there's only one way to birth a Q: the same way that humans do it! Do it for the universe, Katherine! But she doesn't want to bang this problem child (we're not unpacking MY baggage in this situation, thank you) and most people can't blame her. But then he neglects that one little detail till this female Q agrees to bear his child instead: all they had to do was touch fingers.

 

               7. His gifts always have strings attached.

 

             

                        Don't fall for the puppy, Katherine, he just wants your DNA. This isn't the only time. He loves to "gift" people things and then when they don't do what he wants, he takes the gifts away. He generally fails at manipulating people this way because most of them are too pure to be taken in when they didn't want to do the thing anyway. 

                                        [pictured: a strong man who don't need no women]

                 

                        8. He's extremely disruptive

 

             This might be hilarious, but it's also rude AF. Q is always getting into people's shit, busting in on their business and causing no end of trouble. He doesn't listen (see #1) and he's really bad at pretty much everything that isn't chaos. He even interrupts someone's rest and relaxation, and Picard is notorious for ignoring his Self Care.

                                 [idk maybe he likes it? Cover dem titties Picard]
                                  

                    Seriously though? Q wreaks havoc and everyone is tired of him "popping" in everywhere. Just wait till he pops into the shower with you. (We're not discussing this)

 

                                    9. This outfit 

 

                    Despite the inherent lack of similarities, I am ALWAYS reminded of the Valeyard's ridiculous judge outfit from the Sixth Doctor's miniseries.

 

                  [so does that mean Q is a Timelord, or is the Valeyard actually a Q?]

                                    10. Guinan hates him.

 

              Chances are, if you watch TNG, you love Guinan. If you don't, why are you reading this? They wouldn't even have to tell you why she hates him, the fact that she is smiling as she stabs him with that fancy-ass fork tells you plenty. She is done with his shit yesterday. She can't stand having him around. You have a pretty good idea that whatever he's done has pissed her off. And he calls her trouble. Mister, you haven't even met trouble.