Discovery: Season One, Episode Nine

Star Trek Discovery
Season One, Episode Nine
Into the Forest I Go
[original airdate: 11|12|2017]
[spoilers ahoy!]

tw for this episode, if you're watching: fairly graphic torture flashbacks

Seriously, like I said last episode, this reminds me of school- you get called to the office, and so does the kid that beat you up, and the principal wants you to talk it out, apologize face to face, because that just calms everything right down. Did I mention I hate school?

Yo, Terrall, let me just say, fuck you. We're Starfleet, we don't retreat to leave budding civilizations (ok probably not budding) to get completely and utterly wiped out by a virulent threat. Lorca is me right now, aka "suck my dick, my dude".

Okay no. The logic is not clear. WTF Starfleet, stop being like this. You keep just being like "we made you to do this, but you know what? Don't."

 [Starfleet: No. 

Discovery: ]

Gabriel you little shit. "They'll be expecting us in three hours at this speed, which is why I'm warping and not using the spore drive." YES. And now they also have three hours-ish to find a solution. Yesssssssss! \o/ Man he's even getting together a legit reason for them not to be using the drive. You don't disobey a direct order often, but when you gotta…

Oops. One problem with that little order. Now Culber's at risk like we DIDN'T want. SLKJdhaszldh.

 [Stamets no likey]

Damn gotta love that warp effect tho. Even though I don't know about this kind of science... I guess a gravitational field seems plausible??? Who knows.

WELL THAT SOUNDS DANGEROUS. Yes let's just climb onto a ship of super deadly enemies to put sensors on it so we can find these tiny little-- y'know what? Ok. It's better than the fricken alternative.

"We don't have days... but we do have a spore drive."

Why does that sound so badass??

Oh no. He just wanted some "evidence" not some evidence. *worries aggressively*

 [*me watching 90% of Trek*]

Calm down Culber,  it's okay! He just wants to read it and see what's going on! We know you don't wanna play games with Stamets' brain. Ugh, he's so concerned. And I can see why, it's his husband, y'know? You don't wanna mess with that.

WHAT.

133 jumps. One. Hundred. Thirty-three--- three dimensional snapshot-- under four minutes--

 [Math.]

Also dammmit Gabriel, don't give us (and Stamets) those eyes. You know we'd do anything for you. We also know you're right. The Klingons will just steamroll everything, and ruin everything, and the universe would totally suck.

Wow, they're even bringing in the concept of parallel universes. Nice. I mean, they introduced the mirrorverse in TOS, and we had a rather ugly indicator that it might be legit with that mirror scene at the end of whichever episode.... *checks notes* Choose Your Pain. Right. I mean this is good, they just sort of threw it in your face in the other shows, which is fine, it's not something that has to be explained. Show don't tell, y'know?

Stamets getting so excited over this is adorable. Look at this space nerd.

 [Nerd.]

"But then the journey continues...." *sob*

Yeah, I agree, that's out of the question. You can't just take Burnham with you wherever you go, Tyler. Hahaha yeah I would be saying the same thing. Don't care if you know, tell someone else, buddy.

Damn, Michael. Would you do this if you were fully instated? Sheesh. "Well u are the captain but I'mma sass u" eh, Riker did it, so why not lmao.

OMFG when she says "is this about me" when he turns around and gives her that "excuse me?" face. I am deceased.

 [Does it look like it's about you?]

"Argh fine Burnham go do your fucking job" lmao I mean look at him. (also does she have freckles or am I insane? It's hard to tell, this isn't HD enough. *uses electron microscope* wait)

Yay it's Tilly, HI TILLY. She has two cute little braided buns. Here for it. Uh.... uh oh. Hi Culber. Oh no. YOU DIDNT TELL HIM ABOUT THE SIDE EFFECTS also poor Tilly. And what precautions???

Ah, a monitor. Okay. Ugh Stamets stop giving everyone those looks. Deathglares do not become you, sir. I know you're a grouch and everyone's on your back but geez.

 [I make this face every time anyone I care about does anything.]

He's so brave going in there, knowing that it's something he's never done before, that he's sitting there going to do so many microjumps, that must be so scary, even if you know it should turn out okay.

Damn that's a good speech, Captain. I mean, it's inspiring, it's true, and it's solid. What more could you want?

 [Excellent speech, sir.]

Whoa. They just. They spore jumped while at warp. I didn't think they could do something like that. I mean that just shows you how different the spore drive propulsion is compared to the warp drive propulsion. But damn.

Hi Kol you asshole. I am impressed though. Pretty sure he's the only guy who could call something enchanted and sound that sarcastic about it. It's a good plan except for the part where it's not a weapon, but ok. I mean seriously, by Klingon standards, it's a good plan.

Okay there edgelord, don't cut yourself. What IS it with "tough" guys being like "pretty things are horrible"? Maybe it's a Klingon thing? I dunno.

That is literally the most horrible noise when it decloaks but also can you say awesome? Damn.

PS Detmer is badass. They're gonna be fired on by the Klingons for who knows how long, and when Lorca's like "evasive maneuvers" she's like 'gonna be a bumpy ride' *smirk*

Life signs might be masked as Klingon but you are lucky no one's around to look and see that GIANT YELLOW GLOWING RING on you. Because even if from a distance they couldn't tell your species because of dark places, that is not Klingon tech.

At least you waited till you were in some storage area before turning on the flashlights, I'll give you that. Except I'm gonna bitch again about it talking loudly ffs, and also about it just. Showing what it's doing. This isn't exactly new (cue episodes of DS9 and the like) but Starfleet is apparently an idiot about everything. Let's make sure you know it's working so everyone knows it's working.

Aww, they even have GPS! I thought you knew where it was without that, Burnham. I mean, you made your tasty little speech about how you were the only one who knew where to put the sensors, and yet here you are, using a freaking GPS device. A+ I guess?

And there it is, just flashing away going "awaiting second sensor".

 [Perfect.]

Oh shit there's a human? Is it Admiral Cornwell? I bet it is. I mean who else could it be? Dammit Burnham stop changing the fricken rules. Of course they're near the bridge. HOW CONVIENENT (include link to tvtropes contrived coincidence). Poor Tyler. At least he's willing to swallow his pride and help you.

Really Burnham, you're still surprised he has knowledge of Klingons? How many times does he have to tell people he was seven months in Klingon prison? O H. And here I was hoping he'd do something sensible, and he cuts the door wires. *sarcastic applause*

Yep. It's Admiral Cornwell. Nice. Oh shit, L'Rell's in the corner, and Tyler ain't too happy about that. I mean, can you blame him? We know why. :C

WELL THAT WAS HORRIFYING. That's some good shit though, I mean, fairly gory for some torture flashbacks, but not too awful. Less gore than some of the rest. But also it sets the tone for what Tyler's suffering even more than before. Are we gonna have some PTSD? That hardly gets covered in shows like this.

Smart move getting her against the wall, if she has spinal damage… And Michael's a pragmatist, just stun the problem for now.

Yep, that's some PTSD. Good. Good job. Well executed. Painful as hell (I have some of my own from childhood abuse, no flashbacks but all the symtoms), but good. And Cornwell's reminder that she used to be a therapist, she is able to quickly diagnose him with shock even though she's barely conscious.

She's so badass, damn. And so's Michael. She's handling this so well, even though the boy she likes is like. Having a major panic attack. Thank you.

Nice transition from closing the door to outside.

[BEHIND YOU.]

"Uplink to Discovery established" okay those words cause me pain. There is a Klingon like 25 feet from her, and is there literally no mute button on this fucking thing? Annnnd now you're listening in like an idiot with your communicator. I mean, sure, you need to know but they're going to heaaaaaaaar you.

Although it's heavily made up for by watching Discovery taunt the gigantic Klingon ship by spore jumping and firing on it at least a half-dozen times. I mean that is legit right there.

Hoo boy, here we go. Time for them to do the insane number of jumps. *clutches armrests*

"Five... four... three... two…"
"I love you."

Yeah, only 96 more to go. *frantic breathing*

Man, Tyler's torture scenes are just so bad. Like, is he in a freaking plastic bag a la Laura Palmer here or what? Yes. Yes he is. Nice (terrible) freeze frame bonus I will not be posting here.

Please talk him through this Admiral. Good, good. I hope they keep her in this damn show. We need more characters like her. Badass and compassionate. I feel SO bad for Tyler, and knowing how a lot of that feels makes it tougher to watch (but thanks anyway, guys, for including it).

Speaking of poor somebody, poor Stamets! These jumps are clearly messing with him. That's. Beautiful and eerily terrifying, thank you. "There's a clearing in the forest, that's how they go!"

God this is so fucking intense! Poor Stamets, poor Culber. Poor everybody. Because Lorca's right, there are a lot of lives at stake. (The needs of the many...) [Ok but literally who hates that quote? Accurate or not]

Hey Kol I hate to break it to you but if you cut off someone's legs... they gon die. JUST SAYIN. I mean, there are major arteries? And if you want to deal with them later, at least freaking cauterize, man. Geez. It's like Klingons have redundant systems or something.

Damn Michael! Shoot that Klingon right in the ass. Good use of the universal translator though. (God I bet it was nice when it was just in the damn com badge, later on)

Oh damn I think that's Georgiou's badge he's playing with. And she's just badassing all over the place here, talking shit and taking names. I mean, she's right, Kol ain't shit. But she's telling him to his damn face. Michael has some fricken balls of tritanium.

Man I will never get tired of her saying "I'm the one who killed T'Kuvma." 

Well, for all there isn't much you can do, you're awesome anyway, thanks, Admiral. And thank you, Tyler, for finally hearing Cornwell because we need you sir. We need you to remember the soft things in the universe right now so we don't all die.

Holy shit Tyler was that a disruptor you just grabbed?

Of course you do, Kol, you piece of shit. You love war. You're a total dick. You manipulate people to give you what you want and when you're done... well, we don't know yet. But from the way the rest of the Klingons thought of you before this shit? Ain't good.

Yes please, be a badass, Michael. Kol is being a coward right now, talking about honor and then laughing when you say she wants to combat you. Afraid she might kill you like T'Kuvma? Ooh, maybe not! Toss her a mek'leth and let's go.

 [Might be a dick, but still kinda badass.]

You might have strength and size on your side but she's fast and tiny and trained by Vulcans.

*wheeze*

And now we're done with the three million spore jumps.

And back to the fight because we get no breaks. Did she actually manage to stab him in the gut? Although I'm kind of here for the guy who looks like that one Klingon at the office who always takes way too much food at the pot lucks, and never brings his own.

 [This asshole.]

Y'know Kol, you might not want to brag until the person you're strangling is almost dead, BECAUSE YOU MISSED. Okay you cut her but you missed the killing blow. Good one. Ywah right in the fuckin leg! Fuck that guy.

Yesssssssssssssssss they have the algorithm!!!

Cool, isn't like, side-along transport illegal or something? By like, physics, don't those things account for mass? I mean if they aren't expecting three people and they get three people, isn't that supposed to fuck shit up? Eh, whatever.

Dude, Kol, shut the fuck up. She's already stabbed you twice, whole fucking mek'leth in your leg. There ain't anything easy about this, jagoff.

ROBBED.

Damn Michael is badass.

 [Sucks to be you, Kol.]

That pride in Lorca's expression on a job well done toward Michael is a nice touch. She doesn't look too happy, but well. She had to go through a lot of shit. But the pride on Saru's face is what does it for her. And she has Georgiou's badge back. (Also this triumphant music is amazing.)

Well, they want them back at Starbase 46 again. What now? You want them to retire again? Despite the fact that they could probably shorten the duration of the war dramatically by letting Discovery fight in it?

Wow, they wanna give him a medal. The Legion of Honor. Well, after all that, he deserves it, I think. Man does he look uncomfortable! Well, I mean, it's not really his actions, but Stamets... so that's gotta be weird. "Yeah let's reward you for what someone else did."

Sup Tyler. You're looking. Okay.

 [Nice framing.]

Also literally, he was tortured by her dude. Come on. (Also at this point I was distracted by the fact that it sounded like there was some bird sounds in Tyler's quarters. Instead it turned out there was a very loud bird outside that I could hear right over Discovery on my headphones.)

Geez. That's a lot of fricken days. Like seven months doesn't sound like a lot but when you say two hundred twenty-seven your balls shrivel up. Oh god oh god oh god. He did stuff with her to survive, didn't he? Intimate shit. Ajkfshdgfs. Oh Tyler.

Oh the self-blame. Oh Tyler. And it looks like for once they're writing Michael realistically, and not just grossed out, but actually horrified on his behalf. And I'm crying all over again because he clearly cares about Michael so much.

God the human emotion in this show is just. Wow. 

Cut to. Stamets staring blankly. Because we weren't quite done with ruining everyone's lives. Thankfully he seems to be fine. And Lorca told them to give the medal to Stamets!?! Yay! Even if he thinks it's unnecessary, that's good.

And I love you Stamets. Lorca doesn't want to ask you to jump again and risk yourself, but you're like "no they need to be safe and I can do that."

It's really nice seeing him willing to address the problems he's having, rather than pushing through till the problem explodes like usual. Because you can see that Stamets wants to keep going, he wants to explore all of that, but he also knows he can't, and it could destroy him entirely.

And because we're still not safe from Tyler's traumas... we get to see some sexy shit. And some Klingon... um. I'm pretty sure that was some nip, and that isn't super graphic but. 

 

[Goodness Henry I do believe that was a nipple]  

WELL THAT'S AN AWKWARD TIME FOR A DREAM LIKE THAT. Damn, poor Tyler. Trying to confront her over this. Brave man.

Cut to Culber looking worriedly at the spore chamber, and then Stamets comes and and and

KISSES HIM YAY

                                                                            [BEST]

And then we get to add some sap, because idk if Stamets actually hates Kasseelian opera or just some but squee! I love them so much. They're so sweet and real and... ugh.

Good feelings gone. What the fuck? Why is he screaming? What happened? WHY IS THE SHIP ALL FLICKERING AND STUFF?? aND THEN DISCOVERY HAS TWO SPINNEYS nO and ok I think maybe frost on the damn spore chamber is bad. And Stamets was still screaming.

Yeah he's fricken crashing, he didn't complete the jump! Something happened and they split out of the jump. Nice creepy cataract effect, to go with his new "abilities"? Or whatever this is. I mean, sure I bet it's beautiful but. *shudder*

                                                 [INFINITE PERMUTATIONS]

And it just gets more exciting, because now they have no idea what's going on, nothing's working, and no idea how the hell to fix anything.

WELL.

That was a mostly good episode. My only real complaint (aside from the convenience of Cornwell just happening to be exactly where it would be most useful) is that they had those damn talking blinking annoying Starfleet items that manage to somehow escape notice every time, every episode they're in.

Yes, I'm sure it's incredibly useful that it tells you that it's engaged, but ffs, in a stealth situation, where something like that would be used, at least rig a fricken mute button. At least it's consistent with the show that no one notices this loud blinking thing speaking in Federation Standard.

Anyway, I'd say 8.5/10. I'd give it a nine but that stuff always annoys me.