Discovery: Season One, Episode Seven

Star Trek Discovery
Season One, Episode Seven
Magic to Make the Sanest Man Go Mad
[original airdate: 10|29|2017]
[spoilers ahoy!]

 [Michael being all competent]

We start out with Michael going about her day, at her station, in the mess hall with Tilly (hi Tilly) and she's made a friend! It's Tilly no one is surprised. As I've said before, Tilly would befriend a space monster and she has.

 [Hi Tilly! Also the blue hair! And the cool dragon alien guy!]

Also dude Lorca what is that 3D space of space thing you're looking at? It's hella cool. I mean, I'm not going to show it here, because I did last time but it's pretty rad.

*snort* Apparently Stamets is just having a ball driving the ship. He is seriously just tripping balls constantly, and I'm not sure Michael is okay with that. And I think our dear Michael might have a crush on Ash Tyler. *brow waggle*

 [Are you talkin to me?]

Can't blame her, Tyler's hot, no lie. Look at that baby face and those pretty dark eyes! OH I BET HE'S INTRIGUING. He intrigues me just sayin.

A PARTY?! OMG. YES. There needs to be more party episodes. Like. There just needs to be a party Trek show. Okay?

 [Me at any party I've ever been to]

Omfg they're playing beer pong and the boys are holding cups in their mouth??? COUNT ME IN never mind I'm not being a wallflower this time! Tilly got it goin on, damn. Did you see that? That one guy was like "goin in for a kiss" and she was like "nah".

Hold up. HOLD THE PHONE is that a guy in a wheelchair as a background character? Not a main focus as an after school special guy? (ALSO IS THAT ASH TYLER IN A LEI?) You can see him there behind Michael when the power glitches.

Okay Michael how many excuses can you make to Tilly about Tyler huh? Lmao. "Oh I was just helping him calibrate rifles!" "Oh we had lunch cuz shift end!" 8D No. No Michael you are fooling no one. YOU LIKE HIM. It's okay. I bet he likes you too. Tilly will find out.

SLEUTH TILLY

Also I pretty much love drunk Tilly. She's the same as normal Tilly, just with a very distinct forward lean. And Tyler's speech is good. He mentions the guy from earlier, and that's it! I hope he stays in here. Also I hope Tyler stays too. I like him. Lmao Tilly just dodges Tyler. She is so not subtle.

[PARTY!]

AWWW NO. Who said it was okay to summon them to the bridge? ITS PARTY TIME.

Also damn Tyler just roasted you Michael. Like, hard-freaking-core. ROASTED. And he left you standing there. Dang.

 Tyler is having none of your excuses, Michael, just like Tilly didn't. YOU HAVE NO EXCUSES NOW WHAT.

OMG HOW HIGH ARE YOU RIGHT NOW STAMETS she just ran into you and Culber in the hallway and knocked a whole bunch of stuff on the floor and you just hugged her? WHAT.
Pretty sure Michael feels the same.

 [ wHaT iS hApPeNiNg?!]

"You are a very tall man!" *choke* Dude he ain't that much taller than you. And then poor Culber. He's so sweet but man having to put up with Stamets being a Cloud Cuckoolander must be ~exciting~. Especially when he's like "wow ur really grounded after so much torture! 8D"

And then he's just crowing over Culber building him these augments so that he can drive the ship with less pain. They're cool but. Stamets this really isn't the time lol.

[ngl it looks like a command hook]

And then Tyler roasts Michael for the second time in five minutes. He is on a roasted roll. Plus he just keeps right on going because he's got this shit-eating grin on while Stamets is like "What does that meaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan?!"

Whoa. It's a space monster! Another one! 8D Whatever the heck a gormagander is. It looks so cool. And it's endangered because it's far too single-minded to reproduce. I agree Captain, it's really depressing. But they get to save it!

[gorma- what now?]

Holy crap that thing is huge. And pretty. And Michael calls it "sweet girl". I'm crying. She is pretty much the second purest person on this ship. Oh SHIT WHAT

Who let fifties space age Ant Man in here to shoot everything up?! What the heck is going on??? He's getting past everyone because he's just. Got them all off guard I guess? LSIJhdealjfdh. He's killed four people already! WHO IS HE???

GODDAMMIT HARRY MUDD.

"dID YOU MISS ME?" No. No Harry no one misses you they all hate you go away. Why the hell do you look like evil Ant Man or maybe the Ant-Agonizer from Fallout 3? HUH? What the hell sir. What in the blue hell.

 [I mean, just saying]

What a fucking lunatic. Seriously? You came all the way out here because Lorca left you in the Klingon pRISOn? YOU ARE INSANE SIR. [but props to Rainn Wilson, he is awesome in this role] Lorca's just like "jesus i am listening to u because i gotta but seriously stfu man"

Oh did he rob you of your dear sweet Stella? OR DID YOU ROB YOURSELF I mean wtf you climbed into a gormagander and came here. You could have gone to see her yourself but noooooo you had to get "revenge". If you missed Stella so bad why tf are you here? Idiot.

[OP's thirst is returning. Lorca is done with Mudd already.]

Wait what do you mean by "I'm going to kill you as many times as possible?"

OH SHI-

*bites nails right off* everythign is exploding and they're all gonna die, and Harry Mudd is talking in riddles and and and

Wait what.

WAT

The Discovery's fine and they're back at the party? Was this a dream? IS THIS A TIME THING?

I do like how they're cutting out bits to move the plot along, especially since we know what's going on.

Except wait a second, they crashed into Stamets before, and now Stamets is running down the hall? What is happeNING? o.O Wait. He knows something? How?!

 [THIS IS THE TIMELINE GOD ABANDONED]

It's a SPACE WHALE? It doesn't look like a whale but ok. I'm not arguing, you're the xenoanthropologist. Well clearly Lorca's already done with this. Mostly because well, you get all worried something's wrong and it's just a whale.

Mannnnn this is got me on pins and needles. Is it going to be the same or...? The tension is killing meeeee…

WAIT WHAT NO THIS DIDN'T HAPPEN BEFORE. What do you mean Black Alert???

????????

Oh. It's this asshole. Again. SOmehow. How did you get in Engineering Mudd? How did you trigger off a spore jump? How did you get a critical failure? Did you just roll a natural twenty somehow?

And don't call them kiddies.

 [Eff this guy.]

You're one to talk about loyalty, Mudd. Did you kill poor Stuart? I wouldn't put it past you. Oh geez... this is really pretty bloody. Ugh. As if I didn't dislike him enough. And poor Tyler and Burnham trying so hard to get him to stop and he's like "lol no". Dick.

NO THEY WON'T. They won't tell you anything!

AbuhWHAT

[I'd eff this guy. Wait no.]

Stamets just ... shot Mudd looking all Flash Gordon-y and shit and I feel like this isn't going to stop anything? I mean. Wait these two times aren't all of them? Geez. GEEZ. What the hell Mudd? What the hell. HOW MANY TIMES HAS THIS BEEN GOING ON???

Aaaaaand again.

Only this time Tyler was gonna ask her to dance. Whee! Yes! *fangirls* Stamets what are you doing at the party? You weren't there before... Annnnnd they're not going to tell us.

Hello again Stamets. At least you're not waiting this time? I guess? I KNEW IT. IT IS A TIME LOOP HA. I mean of course it is *cough* they pretty much said so.

 [y'know, I don't think she believes you]

Michael- Michael no- I don't think taking him to Sickbay is really going to--*sigh* This is what happens when you're raised by Vulcans I guess. If someone told me I was in a time loop, I'd want to believe them. Because I'm a huge dork. I mean, scary, but... I'd want to believe.

And then Stamets starts reciting her argument with her. Lmao. God I love this episode.

And then I basically lose my shit because Lorca is done with this whale already because we're fighting a war here, and there's a fish and Saru says it's not a fish and Lorca is like "do I look like I care?" lmfao

And then he gets summoned to Sickbay and before he even gets there there's a dead guy and. Oh look, it's Captain Asshole again. Go away Mudd.

 [Nice shot between Lorca's calves tho. Is that a knife? Or an arrow? He's holding a ray gun. What.]

I love good camera angles, though, and this is top notch.

Aww, Harry is so not happy. He wants to sell Discovery to the Klingons but it would be useless without the spore drive and no one wants to cooperate. Sucks to be you.

WHoa cool! The idea that Stamets can exist outside of time, or at least outside of the time loop because of the tardigrade DNA is really awesome. A+

Yes. Yes yes yes. Yes I love when they use that. The secret no one else knows, so that he won't have to explain when it happens again. I TRUST YOU STAMETS even if she's unsure.

"Now is around the time he usually kills the Captain." That's not ominous or anything.

"Wonder what this does? I'm thinking it melts brains. Does it melt brains?" Okay that's legit funny.

Man it must be so weird hearing someone say they've killed you more than once.

I have to say this montage of killing Lorca is pretty hysterical. I think it's funny he's out to get him instead of say... Tyler, when Tyler is just as responsible for leaving him there, but I feel like he's got this superiority complex where he just has to go for the guy with the most power.

 [This asshole, eating a cheeseburger]

"Fifty-three but who's counting???" Yeah, he's nuts. I mean come on, you're just a wimp, Mudd. Whoa.

Whoa okay that's cool, horrible but cool. It just freaking disintegrated Lorca. @_@

Annnnnnnd back to the party again.

"I just spotted the hottest guy over there--" I love you Stamets. No really. I love you. And oh no Michael's secret. T_T

Every part of this episode is just on point. I could sit here quoting it all night and you would just get annoyed with me and restart the time loop.

Wait no.

[Dance with me. For science.]

Love is not logical, no. Oh oh yay! Department of backstory for Stamets and Culber! *excited clapping* Yes, see, be honest with each other... that's important! Ugh they're such a cute couple and only Stamets is on the screen.

Oh god the moment where they're holding hands when the ship explodes. My heart. ;__;

Thank you for height difference. Also thank you for Michael just plowing through the party to find Tyler.

                                                                          [I ship it]

 Also the thirst-o-meter is high and Lorca's not even on screen. Damn Michael, this is a good moment, and you're just like "SO KLINGON PRISON" I know you have to but also. Damn.

Oh no, Tyler no. Yeah she confessed she liked you and that Stamets thinks you like her and it's at a weird time because of what she said and stuff but but no.

YES NEVER MIND YES FULL STOP YES. Bro knows how to kiss.

Oooh what? He robbed a Betazoid bank??? What is that thing on his arm. And this just gets more intriguing. Idk what a non-equilibrial matter state is, although it reminds me of a non-Newtonian fluid. CAN YOU WALK ON TIME?

A time crystal?? Whoa. I don't think we learned about that in Starfleet Academy. A four-dimensional being?

Also I really like how this is going back and forth between what Mudd's doing and their conversation about him. It's a nice repeat transition for what's being discussed.

Lorca still does not care that it's not a fish.

LMAO there's suddenly orchestral music coming from everywhere. Mudd you extra piece of shit.

Captain Mudd. =___= Let me just say, sir, that was the worst fricken grammar ever. And yet you still keep monologuing away while the people around you are planning to try to take your ass down.

I have to say though, the "weaponized dark matter" looks a lot like an evil d20.

 [Even with his eyes closed, he looks so smug.]

HOLY SH-- Tyler no! OSIjdhadf And if the fact that he's aware of what's happening isn't bad enough then the sound it makes it horrible too?! No! I hate this. And no you are not allowed to kill Saru even if it resets!

No no, Stamets no don't show him! Also idk how he makes it so he can transport at a gesture but I wanna do that.

I mean geez I knew Mudd was a jerk but putting his ship AND the time crystal inside the poor gormagander? What an asshole.

What is it that he doesn't have???

                                                          [The worst dungeon master]

For all you really like bossing people around, it's funny how you don't want to give orders. Uh oh... it looks like you got caught out when Michael mentions Stella.

OH YES. Yes that's the ace up your sleeve of course it is! Because you killed T'Kuvma, they'd pay a fortune for you. Bwahahaha.

LSKJHDLSJHFB MICHAEL NO oh god but also Michael yes. *flailing*

Oh look at them being sneaky!

*cackling* Why yes, he HAS been cheating, why thank you. Says the gentleman cheating at everything by using a time crystal.

"Don't try to con a conman!" Why, because it almost worked? LOL. Especially since I'm pretty sure it's actually working, even if he thinks he's got one over on them.

This is exciting! *bouncing in chair*

Lmao "I've been screwed over since the day I was born" OK Harry whatever you say.

Ahahahaha omg. Looks like Mudd just stepped in it BIG time. *gasp* You ripped off "the love of your life"? Why am I not surprised.

And everyone was relieved when they left, the end.

TYLER IS ADORABLE OK

Okay! This is so far the best episode, mostly because it's fun, funny, and unique. I'm a sucker for time travel/time loop stories in sci-fi (I am a Doctor Who fan, yes) and this one was really well handled and really well told. I would definitely give this episode a 10/10. It would have been higher but Harry Mudd.