Discovery: Season One, Episode Four

Star Trek Discovery
Season One, Episode Four The Butcher Cares Not for the Lamb's Cry
[original airdate: 10|08|2017]
[spoilers ahoy!]

 [What even is this? What planet are we on? (an image of a blue-tinted rocky surface with vertical
blue bursts of light going into a roiling sky and down to the mountainous ground.)]

Starting this episode with lightning and what looks like growing stone? Mountains? I mean this is a cool scene but what does it have to do with? Are we on a-- Oh. It's just Michael's uniform. I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE. Also good morning Specialist Burnham. That teeny tiny smile as she stares down at it. *crying*

[Just uniform synthesis okay. (the image showing blue bursts on a folded uniform.)]

OKAY WHAT THE HECK. That is the coolest (and weirdest) mirror. I need like five. Okay no I don't. It would be hella creepy if I was surrounded by five of myself. But no, I love this. Sorry you're just gonna have to deal with me showing you that TOO. Because Michael looks good in that uniform. Twice.

 [Michael and Michael. And Tilly! (two Michaels (because of a mirror) andTilly walking
into their shared quarters with a large trunk. There's a succulent on a table. Both beds are visible.]

HI TILLY. No no, I love how much she talks. It's cute. I don't know what you're carrying in that box but you are so nice! I love that she just went to get Michael's... package? Trunk? Whatever that is because she was in the shower. I like the button on it but--

Oh NO. Oh no no no I 'd put that under my bed too. T_T Michaellllll. If I could go into a screen, I would hug her so hard. It is WAY too soon to be dealing with that, and I know it's been six months shut up. I mean, this is practically her (other) space mom, and now they're like "here, accept the last will and testament" and she's like I WAS TRYING TO FORGET.

I like noticing here that less people are staring! Oooh, the turbolift has a countdown from what deck it's on??? Or how long you have till it opens? IDK but it's so cool! Oh hi Saru.

[What are you counting? My last fucks to give? (the turbolift appears to be counting down)]

Saru stop looking so scared she's not gonna eat you, seriously. I mean, yeah, she's scary to you but-- Omg Saru stop roasting Michael lmao. "Had the captain inquired, I would have suggested the duty roster lacked any opening for a mutineer." "A valuable asset. That's what you called me." "I was speaking hypothetically. Politely..... And as someone who expected I would never see again." 

 [Just insert this over every person he does this to. Go ahead, I'll wait. (an image with Saru (and Michael) with "deal with it" shades shopped on  his face with the word ROASTED in caption.)]

Annnnd mood whiplash. Red alert, Klingon Birds of Prey. Trying to catch them unawares with the element of surprise and failing... this is pretty intense. And then it turns out its a war simulation. Which is actually pretty cool. I mean you do have that in real life, and it is really hard to pass simulations like this IRL. I mean it sucks that they have to keep doing it, and keep doing it, but you know, that's how these things go. No one's passing it on the first try.

Okay there Mr Tightpants-- I mean Smartypants (although you should check out his ass in that uniform. Damn.) What's more important than xenoanthropology and quantum mechanics?

 [ *lennyface* (a shot from behind of Lorca walking out of the turbolift that shows his butt nicely.)]

"These are some of the deadliest weapons in the galaxy." "I study war." Okay whatever the heck this room is, aside from housing the monster from the Glenn (is this a storage area that was converted, or what?), it contains some hella guns and such... I see a bat'leth and a mek'leth, varying skulls, energy weapons (including what look like modified phasers), and literally the coolest katanas, which look like they have the ability to use some kind of energy as well.

[a collection of blue-lit weapons displays. (the items mentioned above.)]

Literally the coolest weapons cache.

I love the weird critter though! It has such a neat design, which we can't see on it because it moves too fast, but you can see it on the displays. Natural aversion to light, and since it didn't get injured after attacking so many Klingons, you gotta try to figure out why. Makes sense. Probably Michael's right, why keep it there but well. If you can succeed at fighting these guys, maybe you can win the damn war.

She does not seem happy about all of this.

(Well that was a long cold open. I like to note these, and this was over 8 mins long. Even if you cut out the "what happened last time" it's still around 7. Dang.)

Okay! I love this holographic display you can DRAW ON with your fingers. The Klingons have some rad shit ok? Also hi Voq.

 [Voq is a pretty pretty princess. (The Klingon Voq drawing a sparkling trail in the golden hologram that takes up most of the image.)]

So if it isn't enough that this lady Klingon keeps talking shit to Voq, and he just lets it go, and he tells her that melding Starfleet's tech with theirs when it's the ship that felled T'Kuvma is bad, she's like "look you didn't care about blasphemy when we ate the captain of this Starfleet ship."

Wait.

WHAT.

They ATE Captain Georgiou???? *screaming for days*

[a gif of a shocked black person with a hand pressed to the 

base of their throat, with horrified eyes.]

I mean. I... I guess I get it? They're starving, they're predators. It's meat. Don't let it go to waste I guess? *soul leaves body*
  

Hey look! A distraction from the Department of Backstory! So I know your house, I know your family were probably spies but I still don't know your name, pretty purple Klingon lady.
WHO ARE YOU. You don't get a question mark. Question marks are reserved for people who don't eat other people.

You know, it's funny that this seems to be portrayed as a fairly romantic moment, when we've learned that Klingons like to beat each others asses in that regard. Of course, they're talking about violence and stuff, so maybe it's the softer version? Also her mom is cray, telling her as a little wee Klingon to cleave her heart with a bat'leth because she was of two Houses. Gurl

But never mind that, check THIS out!

 [Okay but like if you hate the holo tech you're wrong Look at this! (a glowing sphere comprised of
golden lines surrounded by a ring of purple that casts light on the ridged walls.)]

Cut to- Michael listening to the computer talk about the fact that the "monster" from the Glenn is likely an herbivore. And then Landry pops up like no one's favorite jack-in-the-box. Michael sure doesn't seem to like her anyway. I'm sure she's a good officer but she's so aggressive and brash. And yes, it would bug me if she was a dude too.

Yeah I'm wondering why it's a monster too.

 [Did they need to do this? No. Did they? Hell yes! It's awesome (the image is a blueprint style shot of the outside and skeletal structure of the monster.)]

TBH though, Ripper sounds like a cool name lol. Oooh, it's a tardigrade? That's so coollllll. Although I'm pretty sure the ones here are like the size of your thumbnail or something and this guy is huge, he's a space monster. How TF did it get on boardddd and where's Tilly to make friends?

HMmmmm yeah this sounds like it's hyper-relevant and shit. "You judge it on its looks and one single incident in its past" HMM. (don't @ me bruh)

It's amazing how much of a bitch you are, Landry. (aren't you the one who made that rude comment in the turbolift about how Vulcans should stick to logic, and now you're talking about how much you hate Vulcan proverbs. You sound kiiiinda racist.)

OKay I am pretty sure Lorca is eating an entire small octopus. I am not sharing his plate of food cuz it's bordering on disgusting, but it has ornamental kale, the tentacled creature in question, some pomegranate seeds, some couscous looking sauce thing, and some weird shelled dippy thing he dips one of the tentacles into.

Okay never mind, I'm sharing. DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU.

 [Click through, I dare you. (a fancy plated meal as described above. A glass of water is near
Lorca's hand on the right side.]

Shit, Cornwell, I don't care if it produces all of the Federation's dilithium, there are people dying out there. You better HOPE you can make that jump there, Captain Lorca, without getting spun into oblivion like the Glenn.

"You have doubts." "None."

CUT TO

"There is no in HELL we'll be able to jump that far!" Ah, Stamets. I love how he is just NOT having Lorca's shit. I mean, he's like "look I know what I told you but you have expectations WAY beyond what I promised you."

 ["None of your shit, sir." (Stamets angrily scolding Lorca.)]

 I like seeing someone who stands up to a captain (regardless of who it is) rather than just buckling under. I mean, if you can't do something, or you're not sure you can do something, you can't just push something. And I'm not saying that sometimes you don't have to buckle under. Just... Stamets. Okay?

Also there's that augmenty thing. That literally looks like old school TOS tech.

 [Seriously, look at it. Box and tubes, very TOS. (an image of the aforementioned
box with gray tubes descending toward the floor. Behind it is a wall with six blue ringed sockets.)]

Why yes, I totes missed a fucking supercomputer on the Glenn, even being chased by a monster I WOULDN'T MISS IT. (Stamets is putting out the sass, and Saru is taking it in. You should have seen that smirk.)

That's an interesting addition to the spore chamber. I WONDER WHAT PURPOSE IT HAS.

Aww and then he has to give in because of Corvan 2. Poor Stamets, knowing things can't be rushed or we'll all get spun out, but having to rush because there's less than six hours before a whole lot more people are gonna be dead.

DAMN THAT KLINGON SHIP IS HOT.

 [*sweating* (the damaged Ship of the Dead looking quite attractive.)]

Yeah you sure fuckin' did, Kol, and I wanted to eject you from the nearest airlock for your disrespect. You? Humility? Don't make me laugh. Either you want something or something changed your mind.

Yeah I thought so. You came here to demand cloaking tech. Boooo I say. Boooooooo!

[I'mma boo you right outta town, Kol (a gif of the old woman
screaming "boo! boo!" from Buttercup's nightmare in Princess Bride.)]

And poor Voq is like "dude look, we're crippled we can't do shit, you wanna help? Then help and stop being a pill, and get us a dilithium processor." It's funny though, Kol doesn't offer a single bit of help. Jerk. That's gonna come back later, isn't it?

BLACK ALERT. We get to know what happens now!!!!!

(oh no poor Ripper, why's he so upset? ;_; )

WHOA DUDE. That's so fricken cool what

 THE.

HECKIN

HECK.

[Literally the best. Fight me. [a gif that starts with Lorca giving a command. A button is pressed.
The outer ring of the Discovery saucer rotates. The ship spins in a "barrel roll" surrounded by lightning,  and then "drops" in a burst of vertical strands of light, reappearing next to a sun.]

Also that is a sun please don't crash there. Bwahahaha "get us the hell out of Dodge Mr Saru" man, half the people I know in person now don't know what that means. Makes me feel special. XD

 

Yes Michael, yes! Don't let Landry's grudge against an animal get you down. And with a frontopolar cortex it does actually have capability of motivations and so on. LMAO Michael does NOT like Landry telling her what she's telling her. That expression is classic!Michael.

Hello cutie in a white coat! You must be a doctor because you're dressed like Dr Nambue on the Shenzhou. And you're being snarky to Mr Stamets which means either you're related to Bones (that's how it works right? j/k) or you know him. "Hold still or you're going to end up looking like a Tellarite." I mean, you can't tell me that's not also something Bones would say.

Oh so you're Dr Culber. Nice to meet you. And you even sass the captain a little, but mostly your intractable patient.

"The frontal lobe is overrated. It only contains memory and emotional expression. It's completely unnecessary."

"Well I'll save it. You know, just in case you might want to have a feeling one day."

ZING

Damn Lorca, doctors can't fix that. RUDE sir. RUDE. Stamets warned you, okay? Geez. And I know that Starfleet conscripted the ship, but I also understand what he's saying... he's not a soldier at all. But sometimes you have to do things you don't want to. (Kinda love the "I'll take all my shit," though)

Annnnd this is awful, but I get why he's doing it. If he doesn't make sure everyone on the ship knows what's at stake... It's kind of gross, but it's a war, you sometimes have to do something like that.

Dr Culber doesn't like it though.

 [#mood (Wilson Cruz as Dr Culber.) (An image of a light-skinned young Puerto Rican
 man with a beard and a military haircut in a white Discovery uniform. His
badge has a cross on it. He looks very unhappy.)]

Literally this is one of the worst things. Stamets thinks so too. It sucks hardcore. But it does let people know what's going on, and why they have to do what they're doing, and why it's a priority. In part because it grounds half the Fleet, but in part because there are people suffering, and the next nearest ship is 84 hours away.

UM LANDRY WTF. Put that gun down, and I don't know what this is... oh she's sedating it?? And that's a knife wtfffffff woman?! No you can NOT cut off it's claw. Seriously Michael you're worried about the sedation? I'M WORRIED ABOUT THIS CRAZY LADY CUTTING OFF ITS CLAW.

[A gif of Qui-Gon Jinn and young Obi Wan Kenobi taking off
their cloak hoods. Obi Wan says "I have a bad feeling about this."]

Oh look I'm right. It flies out of containment, throws everyone down, and wants to escape. Poor thing ;_; And then Landry puts the phaser on it. Bitch. Annnnd then you fire on it and it fucks your shit up. Well. Damn. Now she's dead.

GREAT.

[They do some good upside down shots in this series. (an upside down shot of a ship with a figure in the foreground in strange armor.)]

What are you dooooooing Mr (or Mrs or Ms or Mx) Klingon??? OKAY SCREW IT I AM SHARING THIS MOLDED BUTT ARMOR.

[*sweating bullets* (an image of the unusual armor from behind.
The bottom is molded and Callipygian.)]

Oh it's Voq's ass. Damn bruh. Annnnd now we finally get the pretty purple Klingon lady's name FOUR EPISODES AFTER THEY INTRODUCE HER. I like the name L'Rell though. It's nice. Also why tf are only Michael and Georgiou showing up on the crew manifest? Or is it just cuz it's like "two by two".

I love the dilithium processor. I don't like that one wrong move could send you to the Black Fleet tho.

And Voq is flirting with L'Rell again. It's some intense stuff, lots of eye contact and all. I'm sweating, but that's half because I'm expecting them to start fighting. "Shall we uncouple?" #deceased

Did Michael call Saru for advice on Ripper? I hope so! Oh no, what is she doing? Is she using him for his threat ganglia?? And Saru is NOT happy about that lol. Once again he is roasting the shit out of her, and this is his face:

 [#bigmood (Saru up close looking very unhappy.)]

Tilly! Oh you brought the spores for Michael! Because the Glenn and the Discovery have that in common. Omg Michael's so brave akasfga. She goes into the containment and offers the tardigrade (which looks so sad) some of the spores.

OMG IT NUZZLED HER WHAT. IT's so cute I'm gonna die.

And now we see some of what happened on the Glenn.

[two images that show the broken glass of the tardigrade enclosure, the broken doors leading
out in the ship, and readings in relation to the incident, all in light blue.]

Well, looks like it went after mushrooms and they maybe caught it and tried to use it for... something?

Then they beam it to the Mushroom Forest (ok that sounds rad is that my new band?) and it gets so happy and Stamets is excited about it. Ugh. I told you I love him. "That hardly seems fair. I always wanted to talk to my mushrooms." #sobbing

And some MORE mood whiplash. Back to the Klingons and they're feasting and we're all confused because last time we saw them they were starving. Voq is of the same mindset. OF course it's Kol. It's always motherfuckin Kol. Stealing loyalty. Look we're trying to unite here, you mind? Damn Kol what are you in high school, calling Voq ugly like that? Jeez.

And then L'Rell walks between them, oh shit. Oh. She's just giving him the dilithium processor and taking a drumstick. WAIT DUMP HIM IN THE GRAVE OF OUR ENEMY? that's rude

 [Discovery to the rescue FINALLY. (A closeup shot of the Discovery, face-on. You can almost see into the bridge.)] 

So after like. 500 years, they manage to get the tardigrade to help, and now they just. Bam! Are there at Corvan 2 like it was nothing. w00t! And then after risking everyone and the shields are nailbitingly low, they drop away again and leave what... photon torpedoes? I have no idea but they saved the mining planet so yay!

Awww everyone's so happy that they did it and got out in one piece! (Me too, tbh)

Boo, they DID put Voq on the broken down Shenzhou. That sucks. Oh hey L'Rell why the frick are you here? Yeah I guess putting him there would save his life. Probably because Kol would eat his liver.

Welllll this just got uncomfortable. What's this about getting stuff from House Mo'kai matriarchs you've never thought possible??? 

[a gif of a shocked black man hand over mouth. He jerks
his hand away and sits back in his chair fist over mouth.]

Annnnd here's Michael bringing the tardigrade some more spores. Michael is good people.

(Okay I want a Discovery pillowcase. I want Discovery printed everything. There's plates and clothes and bedding...)

Can I have like... fifty Tilly pep talks? I feel like she would be the best friend you ever had and you wouldn't realize it till like. Years later. And Tilly just looks up to and idolizes Michael without being weird about it. #ProtectTilly

Yay now we get to find out what's in the chest!

OH. It contains feels. 

 [All the feels I'm feeling. (a gif of a young black man in a theater his eyes
shut, loudly saying "my emotions MY EMOTIONS!" gesturing emphatically.)]

WELL. That was a mostly well constructed episode. Now maybe I'm the guy who complains a little too much, but I feel like Landry being a one-note bitch who liked her job as chief of security a little too much and was super hard nosed was so we didn't feel too bad about her death... which is a little bit of a failure considering how much they work to try to make characters nuanced. She wasn't.

Otherwised, good episode. I'd say 8 out of 10.

BONUS:

Michael bringing the tardigrade some spores:

[Michael crouched in the foreground, back to the viewer,  in the doorway of the tardigrade's enclosure. She is offering it something unseen that glows. A trail of blue mist 
 with glittering particles hovers between her and the creature's face.)]